The LuLac Edition #103, Dec. 2, 2006

PHOTO INDEX: SOME YOUNG GIRLS CAN HAVE FUN WITHOUT GETTING TATTOOS, OTHERS CANNOT.

TAT GIRL VS.

THE BOOMER BLOGGER’S WIFE

So I went to this “Meet Up” Saturday night to meet some fellow bloggers of eastern Pennsylvania. I generally go to church at this time but made alternative arrangements to check out some of my brethren. If I believed mainstream media reports about us bloggers, I expected to see a bunch of people in their pajamas with laptops in tow and a 6 pack of either Yahoo or Coors Lite. Instead, I spotted people who looked pretty normal. Of course, most subversives do look normal which is how they get to be subversives in the first place.
I am not a bar guy. Even when I was “on hiatus” from my marriage, I never frequented watering holes or “clubs” as they call them now because of the noise and distractions. My thought was how in the world can you sell yourself to a fine young thing when competing with blaring music? I thought the same thing when I entered a modest, neighborhood bar in Wilkes Barre. Friendly greetings, exchange of introductions and information was swapped but at an uncomfortable level because of the ear piercing music.
Still, being protectors of the First Amendment, we soldiered on trying to have our conversations. During the course of the evening, we noticed a rather attractive but dour young woman with tattoos adorning her back which was long, tapered, silky, but with somewhat feminine muscles (and you wonder why I was “on hiatus!!!!!!”) filling the 21rst century juke box with considerable amounts of money. This was not your dad’s jukebox, no sir-ree Bob, this was a space age contraption the size of a fridge with very confusing (at least for me) knobs, slides and buttons. As we talked, the music got louder, louder and then threatened to break the sound barrier. Reports circulated that the heat of the speakers and thumping of the music was going to finally dry up the long standing water at Hollenback Golf Course.
Feeling powerless, we proceeded with our stories, suppositions and opinions. Finally, the Boomer Wife of one of the bloggers said after the Tattoo Girl’s 5th trip to the jukebox, “This is just plain rude. She’s on the other side of the room and she’s cranking it up so we could hardly hear ourselves!” Others agreed but we reserved her right to do as she pleased because we are after all Bloggers and Americans, not necessarily in that order. The Boomer Wife’s husband, a blogger extraordinaire, suggested that we play Kiss to drive her out of the building. With the music playing so loudly, I thought he said someone should go over and kiss her. Reluctantly, I volunteered until I was corrected and stopped.
At some point, we agreed to pull our meager resources (because we are after all bloggers, not paid media members) and contest the Tattoo Girl’s musical selections with some of our own. I first put in two selections but the high tech juke box was way too technical for me. The Boomer Blogger’s Wife next stepped up and fed her (or his) money into the musical shrine. Depeche Mode gave way to the Monkees, (“hey hey we’re the bloggers, we’re just blogging all around, we could be coming to your town!!!”) Pearl Jam gave way to Patsy Kline and then the turning moment of the battle, Curt Cobain giving way to Chicago. That was too much for Tattoo Girl and her young benefactor (whatever happened to “put another nickel in, in the nickel odium”) and they exited the building through the rear door.
We still enjoyed the music but at sensible levels. A great time was had by all but the night might have turned out a bit differently if the Boomer Blogger’s Wife had not stepped in and saved the day.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Young girls are fabulous, even ones with tattoos but if you want to have a serious meeting, you have to have a Boomer Blogger’s Wife in tow to maintain order. Without order, as we all know, there would be chaos. And while chaos is great fun for a while, it plays havoc with your mind and soul, not to mention your hearing.