The LuLac Edition #4,802, September 6th, 2022

 

TRUMP SCORES ILLOGICAL LEGAL WIN 

Trump twinkie Judge Alleen Cannon  (Photo: MSNBC)

United States District Judge Aileen Cannon, nominated by former President Donald Trump and confirmed to her position after he lost the 2020 election, has granted Trump’s request for a special master to review documents the Department of Justice obtained at his residence at Mar-a-Lago and to delay the department’s investigation while that review occurs.

Cannon’s often dubious legal conclusions add up to a political win for Trump and dangerous precedent for our criminal justice system.

Cannon’s ruling will not just slow down the DOJ’s investigation for no valid reason, it is also so thin on analysis it threatens to set dangerous legal precedent. It reads more like a political conclusion in search of a legal rationale than a judicial order. The DOJ should appeal, at least the part of Cannon’s ruling that prevents it from continuing its criminal investigation, or file a motion for reconsideration.

This temporary halt may not sound like much of a problem, but delay is the name of the game when it comes to Trump’s litigation (read political) strategy. Let’s remember, the longer the case takes, the closer we are to the midterm elections and then the run-up to the presidential election. Trump is likely to declare his candidacy soon, if for no other reason than to give him and his base the ability to claim that the ongoing investigation is simply just Biden going after a political opponent.

Perhaps the most enraging part of the judge’s opinion isn’t her incorrect legal analysis, but rather her protestations about fairness and integrity. She writes, “[a] commitment to the appearance of fairness is critical, now more than ever.” How true that is. But none of that counsels in favor of appointing a special master and delaying the DOJ’s investigation.

This decision proves that not all citizens are equal in the eyes of the law. If this were any regular government official, they’d be under lock and key in a New York minute. Trump has proven himself to be dumb, arrogant, crooked and disgraceful. But with all of that, he is one lucky son of a bitch!

 

 JIMBO SAYS TELL THE WOMEN: “HELL YEAH, #WE NAILED YA!”

Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio said Republican candidates on the campaign trail should take credit for the "huge win" that revoked federal abortion rights for women.

During an appearance on Fox News, Jordan was asked how GOP candidates should handle the "messaging" around the U.S. Supreme Court's recent Dobbs decision that overturned Roe v. Wade. Some Republican candidates masked their true abortion positions after the ruling.

"Lean into it!" Jordan advised candidates. "We're the pro-life party. We're going to protect the sanctity of human life and Democrats have the radical position! They're the ones that think that you should be able to take the unborn child's life right up until their birthday, for goodness sake!"

"That is frightening, so lean into it!" he continued. "We're the party that's going to protect the sanctity of human life like we've always been. This was a huge win for the precious nature of human life and I don't think we should shy away from it."

Here’s my question. These guys are going to tell women when life begins but the dumb fucks have no idea when an election ends! (MSN, LuLac)