The LuLac Edition #168, March 5, 2007
PHOTO INDEX: YOUR BLOGGER IN CHIEF AND LULAC COLLEGUE, JENNIFER J. JENNIFER, YOUR BLOGGER IN CHIEF TRYING TO FIND HIS WAY TO SAN JOSE TO TRY AND MEET MRS. LULAC (WHO BY THE WAY GOT STUCK ALL NIGHT IN CHARLOTTE BECAUSE OF A U.S. AIRWAYS SCHEDULING/COMPUTER FOUL UP,)YOUR BLOGGER IN CHIEF WITH FELLOW LULAC COLLEGUES SARA S. SARA AND PATRICIA P. PATRICIA, AND THE BLOGGER IN CHIEF WITH HIS LULAC ADVISORY BOARD. ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED AND PICTURED ARE INDEPENDENT OF THE LULAC BOARD OF DIRECTORS CURRENTLY HEADED FOR RETREAT. THOSE PICTURED WILL HELP THE BLOGGER IN CHIEF, AT THE BEHEST OF HIS BOARD, HONE THE OLD MISSION STATEMENT.
ANNOUNCEMENT
As many of you know, the LuLac Political Letter has been a clearinghouse for political news, opinion and historical reference points for nearly one year. What you didn’t know is that the LuLac Political Letter answers to a board of directors consisting of 43 men, 6 women, 1 donkey dressed in a Donna Karan halter, and 2 chimpanzees dressed in Tuxedos left over from an old Rock 107/Sarno and Son promotion. The board has been trying to fill a vacancy in our organization that has been sorely lacking. The job title is A Research Education And Leadership Bibliographical And Biography Educator.
Since August of 2006, the board of directors consisting of 43 men, 6 women, 1 donkey dressed in a Donna Karan halter, and 2 chimpanzees dressed in Tuxedos left over from an old Rock 107/Sarno and Son promotion, has been struggling to pick the right individual for the post. The very future of the LuLac Political Letter is at stake but the efforts of the board has produced nothing but a stalemate. The LuLac Board now claims that it is “bewildered” and “confused” as to its mission statement and has suggested that all LuLac staff go on a “retreat” to re-charge our batteries, re-invent ourselves so we can be understood by not only the public but the board of directors consisting of 43 men, 6 women, 1 donkey dressed in a Donna Karan halter, and 2 chimpanzees dressed in Tuxedos left over from an old Rock 107/Sarno and Son promotion.
So for the next year or so, the LuLac board will be on “retreat” in a double wide directly across the street from the land that is to be the new cargo airport. (Some elderly couple lived there for years but the LuLac board used eminent domain to get the old codgers out of there). Any attempts to reach the board can go through me via my e mail listed on this site or by posting.
In the meantime, while the LuLac board goes on their “retreat” to find themselves, I have been given full authority to find and hire for the organization the aforementioned A Research Education And Leadership Bibliographical And Biography Educator. At first I was going to elicit the help of Mrs. LuLac who is in San Jose this week but as you can see by the picture index, I could not find my way, even with the help of the great songwriting team of Bacharach & David. So it will be up to me to interview candidates (again see the picture index) for the position of A Research Education And Leadership Bibliographical And Biography Educator as I take my own “retreat” to fulfill the wishes of the LuLac Board of Directors consisting of 43 men, 6 women, 1 donkey dressed in a Donna Karan halter, and 2 chimpanzees dressed in Tuxedos left over from an old Rock 107/Sarno and Son promotion.
That’s my major announcement.
posted by David Yonki @ 12:44 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I waited past midnight to see this exciting post! God! I get it, I get it, but you could've done this in one paragrapgh!!
Yonki, you "I believed" us. I don't know who the bigger idiot is, you for suckering me in or me for allowing myself to get done in by that so called mind of yours.
Sleepless in Sugarnotch
Okay, okay, this is satire. Funny. But your true forte is political perspective. stick with that.
P.S. The word play was cool but I felt like Ralphie in that Xmas movie when he was trying to decode his secret ring.
Daver:
You mentioned that Mrs. LuLac was stuck in Charlotte overnight. Was she part of that snafu with the US Air reservation systems?
My boss is MIA. And we're sooooooo
sad about that.
Excuse me while I get back to the low expectations my boss expects of me.
Pauler
IN RESPONSE
You mentioned that Mrs. LuLac was stuck in Charlotte overnight. Was she part of that snafu with the US Air reservation systems?
MRS. LULAC LEFT SAN JOSE SUNDAY MORNING AT 6:45am, (9:45am LULAC TIME). HER FLIGHT WAS DELAYED FOR ONE HOUR IN PHOENIX BECAUSE OF A RESERVATION PROBLEM. SHE MISSED HER FLIGHT FROM CHARLOTTE TO SCRANTON AND WAS TOLD TO STAND IN LINE WITH 1500 OF HER CLOSEST FRIENDS TO GET RE-BOOKED. AFTER THREE AND ONE HALF HOURS IN LINE, SHE WAS GIVEN A FLIGHT MONDAY MORNING AT 6:45am OUT OF CHARLOTTE TO PHILADELPHIA. THE CHARLOTTE FLIGHT LEFT ON TIME BUT THE PLANE WAS BACKED UP FOR TWO HOURS OVER THE PHILLY SKYLINE BECAUSE OTHER PLANES HAD TO LAND. SO SHE MISSED HER MORNING FLIGHT TO SCRANTON/WILKES BARRE AND IS NOW STRANDED IN PHILADELPHIA AWAITING A 1:35PM FLIGHT HOME.
APPARENTLY, US AIR AND AMERICA WEST PUT ITS MERGER INTO PRACTICAL APPLICATION YESTERDAY. THE COMPUTER SYSTEMS COULD NOT HANDLE OR WERE NOT DESIGNED TO HANDLE THE NUMBER OF FLIGHTS AND RESERVATIONS THE MERGER REQUIRED. NOW THIS IMPLEMENTATION HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING BUT THE SABRE BASED TRAVEL SYSTEM (WHICH I WORKED ON FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS) AGAIN FAILED TO DELIVER QUALITY SERVICE TO ITS CUSTOMERS. NOT TO SLAM THE AIRLINE OR TRAVEL INDUSTRY HERE BUT WHY IS IT THAT GAMBLING AND PORNO WEBSITES SEEM TO HAVE VERY LITTLE GLITCHES WHILE THE LEAST BIT OF DEVIATION ON A TRAVEL SITE CAN CAUSE HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF DELAY WITH THOUSANDS OF PASSENGERS BEING UNACCOMODATED? ANYWAY, MRS. LULAC IS HUNGRY, CRANKY AND WANTS TO GET HOME. REST ASSURED, I HAVE PUT HER FAVORITE CHINESE FOOD MEAL (ERIC LEE'S HAPPY SHRIMP) IN THE FRIDGE WAITING FOR HER TO DEVOUR IT, VACUMMED, TOOK THE GARBAGE OUT, GOT RID OF THE ALFREDO'S PIZZA BOXES (WHICH WAS MY MEAL OF CHOICE WHEN SHE WAS AWAY) AND HAVE A BOTTLE OF WINE CHILLED SHOULD SHE WANT TO IMBIBE. I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT IF AND WHEN MRS. LULAC RETURNS, I WILL LIVE UP TO THE FOUR WORD MAXIM THAT HAS SERVED HUSBANDS WELL THROUGHOUT MARITAL HISTORY: SAY NOTHING, LAY LOW!
You want a real babe? How about some of those doozies Dr. Reichstein featured in his Times Journal? There were some real SPCA residents there.
IN RESPONSE
How about some of those doozies Dr. Reichstein featured in his Times Journal?
MY HEAVENS, I THINK I HAVE ONE OF THOSE PAPERS IN MY ATTIC. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T REMEMBER, DR. REICHSTEIN WAS AN ELDERLY GENTLEMEN WHO STARTED A NEWSPAPER AROUND THE TIME THE WAR BETWEEN THE TIMES LEADER AND CITIZEN'S VOICE WAS GOING ON. HE LURED CLARK LINE, THEN AN IMPORTANT CITY HALL REPORTER AND WRITER FROM THE SUNDAY INDEPENDENT TO WORK FOR HIM. THE PAPER FEATURED THE GOOD DOCTOR'S VIEWS AND POLITICAL FAVORITES. IF HE LIKED A CERTAIN POLITICO, HE WAS BI PARTISAN, HE'D PUT THE PHOTO IN THE PAPER. THE BIGGER THE PHOTO, THE MORE HE LIKED YOU. THE DOCTOR ALSO STARTED THE FORERUNNER OF THE WEEKENDER MODEL OF THE WEEK AND USUALLY PICTURED HUGE PHOTOS OF WOMEN HE FOUND, AHEM, INTRIGUING. I GUESS THE BIGGER THE PHOTO, THE MORE HE LIKED THEM. AS YOU INDICATE, SOME WERE BETTER LOOKING THAN OTHERS BUT I TEND TO GIVE THE DOCTOR A PASS SINCE I THINK AT HIS AGE, HE WAS LOOKING MORE AT YOUTH THAN BEAUTY. THE PAPER WAS A TABLOID IN A BROADSHEET'S BODY. THE DOCTOR WAS AN INTERESTING MAN WITH A VERY FLAMBOYANT STYLE. HIS ENTRY INTO THE NEWSPAPER WORLD WAS AN ENTERTAINING PART OF THE EARLY 1980S HERE. I BELIEVE THE PAPER WAS FREE FOR A TIME, THEN CHARGED A FEE. THANKS FOR TAKING ME DOWN MEMORY LANE THERE PADRE.
AND BY THE WAY, MRS. LULAC ARRIVED BACK IN TOWN AT 230PM AT AVP, JUST SHORT OF 33 HOURS AFTER SHE LEFT SAN JOSE.
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