The LuLac Edition #294, August 28th, 2007

PHOTO INDEX: FORMER LBJ AIDE WALTER JENKINS, CIRCA 1963 AND IDAHO SENATOR LARRY CRAIG.

A FLAMING FIASCO

Senator Larry Craig of Idaho has found himself in trouble because of a police report where he allegedly touched another man in a Minnesota men's room. Now I realize there's not much to do in Minnesota but perhaps the Senator might have better occupied himself. I don't know about this fascination with Men's Rooms, my mission has always been to get in, get out and not talk to anyone while I'm there. Even my male buddies who I go to dinner with, whether it be dogs or pasta (we used to frequent strip clubs when we were younger and dumber) go to the lav alone while another guy waits for the other. I don't know, kind of a code, we just don't want to be in that neighborhood with each other. Mrs. LuLac feels sorry for the Senator because she feels he can't get his stories straight. All of this Men's Room stuff harkens me back to the 1964 election when an LBJ aide named Walter Jenkins was arrested in a D.C. toilet and was arrested with propositioning someone. He resigned and the incident was labeled as nervous exhaustion. When I read between the lines and tried to ask my father about this, he gave the quintessential 1950s male doublespeak, avoiding any discussion of any type of sex, he just shrugged and said, "the guy was nervous and exhausted. Case closed. Ask your mother."

Now we are a bit more enlightened but not by much. The Senator's fellow members are incensed they were blindsided by this story, the Senator himself has blamed the media and his own judgement and has vowed to fight. Craig is a three term Senator in a deep red state where Democratic Liberal Frank Church once reigned. They'd like him to go away quietly. Perhaps he can use the "nervous and exhausted" line.

Me, I don't care what anyone does as long as it doesn't impact my life in a negative manner. And I'm not outraged that Craig, a family values guy is a hypocrite on this issue. Most politicians are and I give them a pass on that. I'm sure there might be a male right wing State Lawmaker somewhere in America railing against gay marriage or the video of San Francisco Lesbians #1 out there on a Chamber floor with a Victoria's Secret teddy under his Brooks Brothers suit. I don't care. But the least one of them can do, including Craig, (I predict his next move is to find Jesus like Michael Vick did) is to add the old Seinfeld line, "not that there's anything wrong with that!" From YOU TUBE, a classic. If we couldn't laugh about this stuff, we'd be crying all the time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTDVEb6Wu-w