The LuLac Edition #2170, August 24th, 2012

Our “Maybe I’m Amazed” logo.

MAYBE I'M AMAZED

MAYBE I’M AMAZED………that when people rail against gun control, they need to understand that America loves its guns. And I’m okay with that except for the multiple magazine machines. But gun dealers have a tough time deciding who should get a gun and who should not. Plus the ATF is hard pressed to police the more than 57,000 licensed gun dealers. Just twenty five field divisions, one for every two states look after the licensees. Inspectors are supposed to go into stores every three years but with a small force that is next to impossible. Guns in America are big business but there has to be a way to keep some nuts from getting them. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………..that San Francisco Giants outfielder Melky Cabrera was busted for a foreign substance in his system. When will these guys ever learn? And here’s something to consider in the wake of the washing away of wins from Penn State Coach Joe Paterno. Cabrera was the MVP of the 2012 All Star Game. The National League got home field advantage because of the win and Melky’s exploits. Would it be unreasonable to ask that the reward from the win be forfeited and have home field advantage awarded to the American League? 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that on Cable TV is a program called “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”. When I was a kid in Catholic school, the nuns always told us that all of God’s children are beautiful. Uh……….not this one. The show is a celebration of ignorance in America. To give you an idea of how bad it is, (and I only saw a snippet of it while Mrs. LuLac was surfing the channels, she was tempted to stay and watch but I threatened to go and find some Angela Stone DVDs) there are subtitles in the program. Not for the hearing impaired, not because they speak a foreign language. Their English is so undiscernable that you need to get a translation.

My typewriter from high school (snazzy color, huh?) that traveled with me to Washington, D.C. in the summer of 1972 and then wrote many a term paper at King’s College. Maybe the good Mayor might want to take a look at this and add it to the Police Force. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that the New York City Police Department spent a million bucks on typewriters. More amazing is the fact that they found a place where you could get a million bucks of typewriters! 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that if you want to win at Carnival games and fairs, you have to strategies. If you want to knock over milk bottles, aim for the bottom. If you hit those, chances are the entire display will fall. The lower bottles are almost always weighted down. When trying to score a price by throwing a dart at the balloon, don’t aim straight. The darts for the most part have dull points and will not burst the balloon. But if you arc the dart and let it fall, you’ll have a better chance of having the dart hit the balloon on the way down. With the added speed coming down, you might burst the balloon. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……..that 57% of seniors have not had their teeth professional cleaned in the last 6 months. This could be a medical risk because gum disease can lead to more pronounced cases of heart disease. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that between the time a child is born and they turn 18, parents and grand parents have a total of 940 Saturdays with their child. When you think of that number, it makes you more certain than ever that you want to make every minute count. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that as the summer is drawing to a close (and how gloriously hot it was!) there are only about 70 days left to the 2012 Presidential Election. After the Conventions, the campaigning will begin in earnest. The debates will be the turning point in the race and then as November approaches, we shall see what we shall see. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……..that people sometimes don’t seem to see a correlation between crime and the cutting of social service spending in the state. Look, we all there are going to be out of town dirt bags invading our area but people who are drug addicts and not getting help because of these cuts are going to try and get their money for a fix somewhere. It cracks me up that some people fought the methadone clinics because “it would ruin their neighborhood”. Got news for you closed minded fools, by not having them, you’ll ruin your city.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that in Scranton, a pregnant woman was arrested dealing heroin with three other kids at home. Most likely she was on welfare with an Access card and getting three checks a month for those kids. See even as a social liberal, my idea is to have welfare for people to bring themselves up. What to do with this trash? Put the kids up for adoption, send her ass to jail, strip away any benefits she was getting and sew her up so she won’t be birthing any more babies. Then track down all of the fathers and make them visit her in jail on Mother’s Day. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that there are no Statewide Democrats lining up to try and take a shot at Governor Corbett in the 2014 Governor’s race. The Gov has very low popularity and doesn’t seem to have the penchant for trying to make it better. I’m surprised I haven’t heard of anyone trying to test the waters so far. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…………that the word "druthers” actually came into vogue in the 1880s. It means “choice” or “one’s own way”, it is also a continuation and alternative of “would rather”. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that there are 5 living Vice Presidents (Walter Mondale, George H.W. Bush, Dan Quayle, Al Gore, and Dick Cheney) still kicking. There are 4 living former Presidents, (Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush) alive as of this day. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that the Plymouth Kielbasi Festival is celebrating year number 9. Plymouth really brings out the best and struts its stuff as small town America. And one of these days those folks should come to their senses and ask me to judge the best kielbasi in that contest they have. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you I’m an expert.