The LuLac Edition #557, August 30th, 2008
PHOTO INDEX: THE CAST OF "THE OFFICE" AND SENATOR JOE BIDEN.
BIDEN AT “THE OFFICE”
First off, I’ve always liked and admired Joe Biden. Second, I’ve always enjoyed the City of Scranton. My time working up there was simply wonderful and the friendships I made there as well as the clients and businesses I frequented are still a part of my life. Thirdly, I truly enjoy the show “The Office” on NBC. I think the show has done right by Scranton, promoting the city without making it seem like a place time forgot and giving back to it by participating in the events planned by the Electric City residents. With that all said, did you notice that during the convention all you seemed to hear was the phrase “Joe Biden was born in Scranton and lived here until he was ten”. What would happen I wondered if the crack staff of writers at “The Office” included Biden in some of the episodes. If I may, here are my humble ideas.
The national press along with Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden who was born in Scranton and lived here until he was ten converge on the city. Mrs. Biden is along for the tour of the Shrute Beet Farm to explore the aspects of Lackawanna County agriculture. Mose Shrute, Dwight’s cousin mistakes Mrs. “Drop dead gorgeous” Biden for a mail order bride he was waiting for from South Dakota. He whisks her away to the Mid Valley and after a wild chase, the Secret Service find the two in front of the Archbald Wrecking Company chomping on wings from “The Windsor Inn”.
“PAM AND THE PREZ”
Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden who was born in Scranton and lived here until he was ten invites a former President with him to a tour of the Dunder Mifflin facility to explain why jobs should be kept in the U.S. Michael Scott takes charge of the tour and as the former President and Biden enter the break room, Scott says “The coffee in here will kill ya!!” and he is thrown into custody by the officials. Biden, who knew Michael Scott’s family because after all he did grow up in Scranton follows to straighten things out. In the excitement, the door locks behind them. Meanwhile Pam is getting hot chocolate and encounters the former President. Jim Halpert, Pam’s boyfriend is concerned when he sees the two together and begins to get jealous. No harm done though because Pam invites the former Prez to be a member of “The Finer Things” club and the two discuss everything from classical music to the various usage for quality cigars.
THE CAT’S MEOW
Andy, Angela’s new boyfriend being threatened by the frozen cat murdered by Dwight removes it from her fridge to the Bob Vance Refrigeration Company. Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden who was born in Scranton and lived here until he was ten tours the plant. Vance Refrigeration has fallen on hard times due to the downturn in housing and he had his power cut off. A foul odor fills the room from one of the powerless refrigeration units and mayhem ensues.
TWO SUGARS AND A GLAZED
Governor Rendell and Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden who was born in Scranton and lived here until he was ten are riding the Guv’s Bus when Big Ed gets the munchies. The bus pulls into a Dunkin’ Donuts. As the two politicos enter the establishment, Kelly is exiting the lady’s room. Biden shouts directly to her“Two sugars and a glazed here for me and my friend”. It of course gets on YOU TUBE. Kelly rides the event to fame becoming the “Bob Barr Girl”.
Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden who was born in Scranton and lived here until he was ten was supposed to leave on a bus tour from the Electric City to Harrisburg. But Tony Rodham, Steve Corbett and Andy Bernard fool with the GPS device and the bus winds up in Bethel, New York. After the harrowing experience, Biden decides to take a bus back to Wilmington to hang with his “drop dead gorgeous wife”. On the way home he encounters Creed who is returning from a Woodstock Planning Committee Reunion. Briefcases are mixed up between the two and a scandal ensues when Biden is found in possession of an unknown leafy substance and 12 Grass Roots CDs. In the closing scene, Creed is shown meeting with Russian leader Putin.