The LuLac Edition #2671, June 8th, 2014

Our “Maybe I’m Amazed” logo.

MAYBE I’M AMAZED

MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….at the complete idiot sports fans who say the Miami Heat superstar LeBron James should have played through in game one of the NBA Championship after getting leg cramps. I was a dumb ass, clumsy, once a game lucky shot hitter in softball. One day during a very hot game with the Killer Bees I was catching because the regular guy was still at work.  The humidity felt like 200%. Around the third inning, Bill Brace the manager had Mark Murphy pull me. I was pissed. Brace told me he didn’t like how I looked. Then he said, get some water, you’re gonna get leg cramps. Stubborn, I sat on the bench and drank nothing. Within a minute, I got horrendous leg cramps in the upper inside thighs.
Here’s my point to this story, Now Brace and Murph were no medics and I was no athlete but in very hot weather in physical activity, cramps happen. The complete fools who said LeBron should have played through most likely never got their asses out from behind a keyboard. As for the former Dolphins’ player Jonathan Martin, after his tweet about James, you’d think he would know enough not to be a social media bully given what he went through last season.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that I see no signs whatsoever for Elder Abuse Awareness anywhere on the roads in the County. Except in front of the Bureau for the Aging on Pennsylvania Avenue. Yeah that will help a lot. What county PR genius helped them with that signage deal?
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that the Hugo Selenski trial will finally get under way. He’s had more lawyers than Carter has liver pills. And the little bastard asked for another delay. Look we might as well just give up, put Hugo through law school, have him stay in jail for a few more decades and put him on the State Superior Court. At least we’d get something for our tax money in return.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…..that during a rain delay in Philadelphia a few weeks back, the New York Mets ate 103 Cheese steak hoagies. You figure there’s about 30 guys on a team including coaches. That’s about 3 and ½ hoagies per guy. Yikes. Imagine them at a Chinese buffet!!!
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……at the story of 50,000 illegal children immigrants crossing the border from Columbia via Mexico, then into Texas and now being shipped to Arizona. There has to be a bigger plot to this. Do 50,000 children all of a sudden slap their foreheads and say, “Let’s go!” We cannot absorb this many people. Sorry. We have to find out how this happened. Isolated incidents happen maybe in the about 50 cases, not in the 50,000 number area. Not to sound like Ted Cruz here but there have to be questions asked.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…..and hey speaking about Ted Cruz, last week he’s on ABC talking about how he spoke with a divorced mother who lost her five jobs because of Obamacare. He actually said that with a straight face. What was even more stunning was the interviewer didn’t call him on it. 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, 5 part time jobs. Is that even possible? There’s 168 hours in a week, does that mean she had five jobs for ten hours per employer? I would have pressed him on it. That’s all I’m saying.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……..that a few weeks ago, I’m on the porch with the dog. And WVIA FM has a program on called “Car Talk” which was and is widely popular even though the two hosts have to be the biggest jackasses I’ve ever heard anywhere. Mrs. LuLac listens to Oldies Talk Radio, I don’t. Last night WILK had Art Bell on from June of 1994 and the big topic was O.J. Simpson going to trial. Anyway, on Car Talk I hear one of the co hosts tell a caller, “Yeah, tell your husband to be a big spender and fill the tank with twenty bucks worth of gas!” Are you kidding me?
My car takes an average of 40 bucks to fill up (less than that thanks to good old Price Chopper!) but twenty bucks? Man that was a jolt. Two things, that show was about 16 years old but how did gas double so much during that time? Oh yeah, I forgot, Dick Cheney.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….but not really about how fragile life can be at times. Like Ed Rendell almost being on that plane that killed new Philly.com owner Lewis Katz last week. Wow.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…..that even though Barack Obama will go down as a landmark President it just might be only for Credit Card reform, attempts at immigration reform, gun control  and the Affordable Care Act. There could have been much more. Here's why. 
This President has not been served well by the dopes he has around him. Or maybe he overrules them, I just don’t know. You don’t do a Rose Garden event with the father of a soldier you are releasing who has been making questionable comments about the conduct of the war. And maybe vet the soldier you are trying to bring home. The frustrating thing about this Presidency is that no one pays attention to detail. Then when the event is over, they have to backtrack. Even Gerald Ford who was regarded as not the smartest President we had fired people, shook up his Cabinet and took charge.
I never was a soldier, never was in the field so I don’t know what was going through this soldier’s mind. But I have helped manage a political campaign, did numerous press roll outs at the United Way and other places and know that the guy you put out there needs to have the answer to every question that will be asked. And it better be true because the press asking the question knows the answers. I have no regrets about voting for President Obama but am disappointed in the “kids” he’s surrounded himself with. My friend Joe Leonardi said it best, “Someone should have locked them in a room and had them watch “The West Wing”. President Obama needs a Leo McGarry.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that the LCTA and COLT cannot join forces and do one big bi county Transportation agency. The two counties run the airport together, why can’t they handle buses? And God if it ever happens, pick a mass transit guy or woman from out of the area, not some lackey who got lucky and got the job by “knowing people”.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……at that cat in Hazleton who beat up women, (Oh such a manly man heyna), then injured a few people and put many in danger by setting cars on fire, robbing, you know the drill…..anyway what is amazing to me is this cat just didn’t steal any old car. Nope he went top of the line stealing an Escalade. This wasn’t a bad Paul Sorvino movie attempt either, this was real. Brace yourself, we’ll be paying for a Public Defender to try this piece of garbage.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED….that tough guy Vito Aiello who shot his estranged wife dead because she wanted out of the marriage is now claiming mental infirmity. Okay, if that is the case, then he might be presenting a danger to other prisoners. You don’t make the claim unless you don’t want people to believe it is true, right? Take him out of the prison he’s at now and put him in a prison for the criminally insane. Give him the services he needs if what he is claiming is true. Turns out tough guy want us to believe he’s nuts. Okay, we’re cool with that but just know you’ll be shipped to somewhere that will test the truth of your theory tough guy.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………that I saw an ad along with a recipe for Fried Rice. Nothing unusual about the recipe, rice, vegetables, onions, but the protein ingredient was SPAM. Yep, pretty impressed that this iconic staple is still around and offering alternatives to the same old same old.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that it seems like certain hit shows have a character that you never see. The off screen persona became part of the fabric of the show. Cheers had Norm’s wife Vera, Frasier had Maris, and The Big Bang Theory has Howard’s mother. The common denominator here is that each show has been an Emmy Award winning hit during its run.