Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The LuLac Edition #2616, March 12th, 2014

Our “Write On Wednesday” logo.



Once in a while I’ll use a Letter to the Editor for “Write On Wednesday”. Some are profound, some are thoughtful and some just go against my grain. This was one of them that really took me aback. A gentleman wrote this letter to the Citizen's Voice extolling the virtues of winter vs. the hot stickiness of summer. He is entitled to his opinion but after this winter, I don’t think anyone is really applauding his sentiments. As we brace for another sub 20 degree day tomorrow, I’m not having any of his wisdom. But hey…he signed his name and if things get bad next winter, maybe we can call on him to help out the elderly, disabled, workers with child care issues, the snow plow driver who is called out in the middle of the night, the people who have surgery scheduled during a snowstorm, the people without adequate clothing and housing…well you get the point. and on and on. Then we’ll see how much he loves winter!
Don't curse the snow and cold; get into the spirit of winter
It's winter it's suppose to be cold and snowy.
Go out and enjoy it. Take a big deep breath of fresh, clean, cold air. Take a walk shovel some snow and feel the cold air enter your nose and go all the down into your lungs.
It won't be long when you're out in 90-degree weather, sweating trying to take a breath of fresh air.
It won't be long (a few short months) when you're out in 90-degree weather, sweating trying to take a breath of fresh air, but there is none. Your cutting grass the air is so thick and full of dust and pollen, then you suck in a bug. You quit, it's so hot and your sweaty, you go inside where the air conditioner is on and it's cool.
I'd rather three hour's of shoveling snow than a half hour of cutting grass.
Fredrick Voelker


At 7:16 AM, Anonymous Professor Milburn Cleaver, OPA said...

Good morning students,
First off, let me congratulate Mr. Voelker on a very witty/informative paper. As I have always stated, it is best to grab a silver lining from the darkest cloud, or as JFK once noted, “better to light a candle than to curse the darkness”, although I can also find agreement with Mr. Yonki’s assessment. Winter in my more formidable days was a time for skiing and sheer enjoyment of the snowy landscapes of New England. As I have grown older the skis have been set aside, but I can still enjoy the landscape whilst sipping a good glass of wine. Again, the proverbial silver lining.
THE work of this classroom goes forward……..

Students, I would like to continue our chat this morning concerning the entitlement society which has usurped our culture. In particular, a young lady by the name of Rachel Canning from the wonderful state of New Jersey (you may laugh). Miss Canning “IS” a young lady at age 18……legally bound to only herself with respect to responsibilities. And yet, this brat had the audacity to bring a lawsuit against her parents for not paying her school tuition. To her parents credit, upon this slug’s 18th birthday, she was shown the door and left to fend for herself. The judge in this case (no doubt, a fine conservative) referred to young Miss Canning as a “spoiled brat” and refused any sort of compensatory damages to her.

As I have always stated in this classroom (at least regarding most of you ingrates), I feel so very sorry for your parents. Sending you here to learn on their hard earned dollar, while you drink and do drugs and patronize a hedonistic lifestyle. And yet, if I had met Miss Canning’s parents, I would not only shake their hands, I would invite them to lunch at my club, for they are the example of what parents should be----strong and disciplinary. That was until I heard that Miss Canning’s parents have welcomed their special little girl back into the nest. At the very least, I hope they make her get a job (perhaps at McDonalds?) suitable for her talents and charge her room and board.

Until the youth of today learn to stand on their own as my generation did, America will suffer. We need a return to common decency. A basic Judeo Christian morality. Instead of you layabouts thinking about your I-phones, your Facebook accounts and your bookies you would do well to begin thinking about three far more important things: God, a flag and a country.

Something to think about this morning…..
Class Dismissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 7:22 AM, Anonymous Junction said...

Maybe he has some truth to his words.
As they old saying goes." When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Play the cards mother nature deals us. This is not a poker game where we can ask for better cards to play.
Oh, did the gentlemen mention West Nile Virus.

At 9:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So you seem to want to make this guy as miserable as you are.

I admire his spunk.

"we can call on him to help out the elderly, disabled, workers with child care issues,"

like they're too stupid or inept to plan for this stuff themselves?

"the snow plow driver who is called out in the middle of the night,"

WHAT? like they're too stupid to understand that a job description containing "snow plow" may require they work WHEN it snows??!!

"the people who have surgery scheduled during a snowstorm"

like all those smart doctors are too stupid to realize the medical team and support staff can't make it to work and re-schedule?

"the people without adequate clothing and housing"

maybe I'll give you this one. Anyone who is living in NEPA with inadequate clothing and housing in this day and age really is too stupid. I'm sure you'll find a program that relieves their sense of responsibility for this. Wanting this guy to do it is stupid and vindictive.

After spending 60 years with us Yonk I'm not giving you a pass on this episode of cabin fever. You are not stupid - think outside the igloo. Heyna?

At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously this guy must be some out of shape fat ass

At 6:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was thinking of that guy, voelker today when I was scraping three inches of ice shit off my windshield in 7 degree weather. I won't say what I was thinking but it wasn't pretty. I'd bet anyone he lives in his mom and dad's basement.

At 8:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Mr.Voelker. America is becoming a country of whiners.

"It's gonna snow"...all together now...wah, wah, wah.

Many complainers driving their heated 4 wheel drive cars to heated work places, and then outraged that they have to walk for 5 minutes in the cold; and later maybe have to go home and push the snow blower for 10 minutes. boo hoo

I wonder what our ancestors think of all the complaining and the typical anxiety ridden meteorologists. A hundred and fifty years ago, they didn't even know when the storms were coming; and there was no indoor plumbing,microwaves, refrigerators, TVs etc.

I would rather stay in the positive and not be a victim. I think many whinny Americans would benefit from reading Teddy Roosevelt's short book (text from a speech) THE STRENUOUS LIFE, in which he extolls the "virtues of toil and effort" and looks at a life of "ignoble ease" with disdain.


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