The LuLac Edition #5, 344, June 3rd, 2025

 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY GROVER & FRANCES

OR

GROVER GOES YOUNG

139 years ago,  yesterday, Grover Cleveland got married. I thought of that today after hearing a snippet of this tidbit on NPR Monday morning. Recently talk show hosts have been decrying the fact that young American men were not having good relationships with women their own age. Maybe COVID exacerbated that issue or video games. It could be that women are more mature than men and now with more doors open to them, women can be more selective and not reliant on men for a better standard of living. Or it could be women of any age don’t like jerks.

When I was in 6trh grade I gave my Batman button to a girl in my class. The nuns and my mother went nuts. The young lady and I wrote notes to each other and exchanged quick smiles and glances.

Fast forward to 7^th grade. I changed in the sense that I became a jerk. Fueled by the antics of McHale’s Navy, I had become a very poor version of a class clown imitating on an alternate basis Ernest Borgnine and Tim Conway. I noticed that I had fallen out of favor with this girl. I asked her why she didn’t like me anymore and she said as she tossed the Batman button into the trash

 saidf,  “You’re a jerk. Girls don’t like jerks.”

I remembered that when I got older. As a young adult, I started seeing someone 12 years younger than me. She was stunning and I was 290 pounds. But we laughed, had fun and we both treated each other well and with respect. One day we were in Arby’s in Dickson City. Back in the day Arby’s had these wheels that spun. In them were the sauces you’d put on sandwiches. As we sat talking, there was some loud noise from the other side of the room. There were about 3 young men her age. Unaware of this, I said to her “I don’t understand why you’re hanging around with me. I’m 12 years older than you, I look like Jabba the Hut, and I drive a used Camaro. She looks at me, points to the three guys and says, “That’s why!” I turned and looked, and the guys were taking containers of mustard, horsey sauce, and ketchup out of their holes, filling the holes with the sauces, and then slamming the sauce bottles into the holes which splattered all over them, the table and the floor.

I never asked her again. Now it’s obvious that Grover Cleveland has more going than most young men these days, but I always tell people of my age who are still single, divorced, or widowed “go young.”

So, here’s what is down with Grover and Frances.

The wedding of President Grover Cleveland, who was 49 years old, and his bride Frances Folsom, who was 21 years old, took place on June 2, 1886, in the Blue Room of the White House. Cleveland was the sitting President of the United States and remains the only U.S. president to be married in a room of the White House. The wedding was highly publicized, though only close associates of the bride and groom were permitted to attend the ceremony. A reception was held as a public event one week after the ceremony.

Cleveland, born in 1837, was the law partner of Folsom's father, Oscar Folsom, and a close family friend. They first met when Folsom, born in 1864, was an infant while Cleveland was already an adult. In 1875, Folsom's father died in a buggy accident, and Cleveland was appointed the executor of his estate and became her unofficial guardian. He maintained a close relationship with her while she was in school while he became Governor of New York and then President of the United States. When Cleveland was inaugurated as president, he was still a bachelor. He had previously indicated a desire not to marry, and a White House wedding seemed unlikely. Media speculation was pervasive, and Miss Van Vechten was considered the most likely bride-to-be, though little else about her is known.

While in college, Folsom became engaged twice, though neither engagement resulted in marriage. She expressed to her mother her desire to marry an older man. Cleveland and Folsom began a courtship. He proposed to her shortly after, asking, "Would you put your life in my hands?" The engagement was kept secret from the press, and Folsom vacationed in Europe with her mother for several months.[1] Rumors of their engagement were initially dismissed as gossip, for speculation of the president's love life was common. Popular gossip had considered Folsom's mother to be a more likely object of Cleveland's attention. Cleveland found this frustrating, wondering why speculation paired him with "old ladies".

Folsom returned to New York City on May 27. Cleveland took a train to meet her on May 30.[Cleveland participated in a Memorial Day parade while in New York, and the president's engagement was celebrated; the band played the "Wedding March", "He's Going to Marry Yum-Yum", and "Come Where My Love Lies Dreaming". As Folsom looked on the parade, Cleveland tipped his hat to her. She waved, much to the appreciation of the crowd.Both avoided further public attention in the days leading up to the wedding, with Cleveland staying at a country home and Folsom secluded in New York.On June 1, Folsom and her mother took a train to Washington, D.C. Newspapers covered the days leading up to the wedding in great detail, sometimes running multiple stories on the wedding every day, covering every detail of the wedding's preparation.

Cleveland had little interest in an elaborate wedding, but Folsom insisted on a grand event. [He and his sister Rose Cleveland personally organized the event at the White House. The wedding was attended by close family and friends as well as members of the Cabinet of the United States. In total, only 31 people attended the June 2, 1886, ceremony itself the press was expressly forbidden from attending the ceremony, though reporters were allowed to see the decorations before the area was closed off. Hundreds of spectators gathered around the White House as the guests arrived.

Folsom was supposed to be walked down the aisle by her grandfather, and the wedding was intended to take place at his farm,but he had died shortly before her return to the United States. Instead, Cleveland himself led her down the aisle. They went down the aisle at 6:30 pm, walking down the Grand Staircase and across the hall into the Blue Room. Cleveland had the ceremony shortened, and he ensured that the word "obey" had been removed from the bride's marriage vows, replacing it with "keep”. John Philip Sousa led the Marine Band in a rendition of the "Wedding March."

On the day of their wedding, Cleveland was 49, and Folsom was 21. Their wedding was the only time that a sitting president was married in the White House. Supper was held in the East Room. The centerpiece was a model ship made of flowers, flying the national colors and flags bearing the initials "CF". Slices of wedding cake were given to the guests in individual satin boxes with cards signed by the bride and groom.

The Cleavelands had five children, four of whom survived adulthood. Cleveland became involved in education advocacy, serving on the Wells College board, supporting women's education, and organizing the construction of kindergartens. Grover Cleveland died in 1908 and in 1913, Frances married Thomas J. Preston Jr. She continued to work in educational activism after leaving the White House, becoming involved with Princeton University. During World War I, she advocated military preparedness. She died in 1947 and was buried alongside her first husband in Princeton Cemetery. (LuLac, wikipedia)