The LuLac Edition #875, July 13th, 2009

PHOTO INDEX: 13 QUESTIONS LOGO.

13 QUESTIONS

1. WHY DO YOU THINK THERE’S LOW ATTENDANCE AT THE SWB YANKEE GAMES?

I HEARD JOE THOMAS AND ROB NYEHARD TALKING ABOUT THIS ON SATURDAY ON THEIR SPORTS SHOW. FIRST OFF, I THINK THE TICKET PRICES PLAY A BIG ROLE. WHEN THE YANKS CAME, THE FIRST YEAR THE PRICES FOR A WALK UP WAS $9.00. THEN THE NEXT YEAR THEY WENT TO I THINK $11.00. YANKEE DIEHARDS I TALKED TO SAID, “HEY, IT’S THE YANKEES”. THIS YEAR TO SIT IN THE LOWER DECK, IT’S $14.00. SO YOU TAKE A FAMILY OF 4 AND RIGHT OFF THE BAT THAT’S MORE THAN FIFTY BUCKS. THE BEAUTY OF THE BARONS WAS THAT IF YOU WERE AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE ONE NIGHT AND AS A FAMILY DECIDED TO GO TO A GAME ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT, YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH PAYING UNDER $25.00 TO SEE THE GAME. IN THIS ECONOMY, FIFTY BUCKS IS FIFTY BUCKS. THE SECOND PROBLEM IS THERE ARE NO GIVEAWAYS TO GIVE TO THE WALK UP FAN. SURE WHEN THE BARONS GAVE AWAY STUFF LIKE BOBBLEHEADS YOU ALWAYS HAD THOSE COLLECTORS WHO TOOK AN ORPHANAGE WITH THEM TO GET THE ITEM AND RE-SELL IT. BUT PROMOTIONS, GIVEAWAYS LIKE UMBRELLAS AND COFFEE MUGS INCREASED THE GATE. AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO PROMOTE YOUR BRAND THAN GIVING “JOE FAN” AN ITEM THAT IS PRACTICAL AND PROMOTABLE. THIRDLY, I THINK THAT THE BARONS WERE “OUR” TEAM. A CONCEPTION OF TWO FORMER FRANCHISES OF OUR GRANDPARENTS, THE WILKES BARRE BARONS AND THE SCRANTON MINERS. I THINK IF THE METS, THE PIRATES OR THE ORIOLES MOVED HERE, THERE MIGHT BE THE SAME RESISTANCE FROM THOSE FANS WHO LOOK AT ANY OTHER TEAM OR ORGANIZATION LIKE THE YANKEES AS INTERLOPERS.

2. DO YOU BELIEVE SHERIFF MIKE SAVOKINAS’ CLAIM THAT HE IS BEING SET UP?

I DO BUT NOT BY PEOPLE HE THINKS. POLITICS IN THIS AREA WOULD MAKE THE WATERGATE CONSPIRATORS SEEM LIKE A BUNCH OF PUPPIES. THAT ELECTION WAS SO CLOSE THAT NOTHING WOULD SURPRISE ME. I GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR NOT HIDING LIKE OTHER ROW OFFICERS UNDER FIRE BUT IT’S BEEN ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER SINCE HE TOOK OFFICE. AND TO ME, THAT CAN’T BE A COINCIDENCE.

3. FAVORITE RIGHT WING TALK SHOW HOST?

LAURA INGRAM.

4. ON THE BASEBALL, DO WE NEED A NEW STADIUM?

NO. AND I DON’T BUY THE ARGUMENT THAT THE MODEL IS AN OLD ONE. IT WOULD BE JUST OUR LUCK IN LULAC LAND THAT WE SPEND MILLIONS ON A NEW BALLPARK THEMED STADIUM AND A YEAR AFTER WE BUILD IT, THE COOKIE CUTTER, MULTI PURPOSE ONES COME BACK IN VOGUE. FIX IT. THE ROMAN COLOSSEUM IS STILL STANDING!!!

5. WHAT GROUP WILL GIVE PRESIDENT OBAMA THE MOST TROUBLE WITH HIS HEALTH CARE REFORM BILL?

MEMBERS OF HIS OWN PARTY. I CAN SEE SOME SEGMENTS OF THE PARTY ALREADY WUSSING OUT. I AGREE WITH THE MANTRA, “GO BIG OR GO HOME.

6. AS A RECOVERING WOMANIZER, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE STEVE McNAIR INCIDENT? WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU HAVE GIVEN HIM?

I'D CERTAINLY TELL HIM NOT TO STRAY, ESPECIALLY WITH KIDS AT HOME. BUT IF HE INSISTED, HERE'S MY THOUGHTS. FIRST OFF, I’D TELL HIM TO STAY WITHIN HIS OWN SOCIAL STRATA. I’M SORRY, A HIGH SCHOOL DROP OUT IS NOT GOING TO HAVE THE EMOTIONAL CAPACITY TO DEAL WITH A MARRIED MAN. ESPECIALLY A FOOTBALL STAR. I MEAN IF THEY BREAK UP, WHERE’S SHE GOING TO GO AFTER THAT? HE'S THE BEST SHE'LL EVER DO. AND THAT'S A DUBIOUS CLAIM. SECOND, NEVER PUT THE FAMILY IN SECOND PLACE ON A HOLIDAY. THIRD, DON’T CHEAT ON THE GIRL FRIEND WITH ANOTHER GIRL FRIEND. IT’S HARD ENOUGH KEEPING YOUR STORIES STRAIGHT WITH THE WIFE. FOURTH, NEVER FALL ASLEEP WITH ANYONE YOU’VE KNOWN FOR LESS THAN 18 MONTHS.

7. WHENEVER THERE’S A NEW REVELATION IN THE LUZERNE COUNTY COURTHOUSE YOU PUT THAT VIDEO UP OF YOU ON WYOU TV ADVISING TO HAVE EVERYBODY QUIT AT THE COURTHOUSE. WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING IT? IT’S GETTING BORING.

ME? BORING? OH, COME NOW! I PUT IT UP TO MAKE A POINT. EVERY OTHER DAY IT SEEMS WE HEAR OF ANOTHER SCAM AT THE COURTHOUSE. YESTERDAY IT WAS A GUY CUTTING HAIR. THERE IS ZERO CONFIDENCE LEFT UNDER THE DOME EXCEPT FOR A FEW. AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR THOSE LEADERS, REFORMING ANYTHING IS LIKE PUSHING A BOULDER UP A MOUNTAIN.

8. FAVORITE SUMMER TIME BAZARR FOOD?

POTATO PANCAKES. ST. AL'S WAS THE BEST. SO WAS ST. CASMIR'S IN HANOVER TWP. TOO BEFORE THEY STOPPED DOING A SUMMER OUTING. SOUR CREAM ON THEM OF COURSE.

9. IN YOUR 1964 SEGMENT, YOU REFERRED TO PHILLIES LEFT FIELDER JOHNNY CALLISON. WHAT WAS HE LIKE?

CALLISON WAS THE RIGHT FIELDER, WES COVINGTON WAS IN LEFT. I MET HIM TWICE. THE FIRST TIME WAS IN 1984 AT THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE PHILLIES ’64 SEASON. HE WAS VERY NICE, GAVE ME A NICE, BRIEF INTERVIEW TALKING ABOUT HIS ALL STAR GAME HEROICS. THE NEXT TIME I SAW HIM WAS AT A BOOK SIGNING (HIS) AND HE WAS GOING OFF ON HOW HE MISSED THE BIG MONEY OF BASEBALL FREE AGENCY. HE RETIRED IN 1973 A YEAR OR SO BEFORE PLAYERS STARTED GETTING THE BIG BUCKS AFTER THE ’75 SEASON. HE WAS PRETTY BITTER ABOUT IT BUT THEN AGAIN, I CAN’T FAULT HIM FOR THAT.

10. DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD SHAMELESSLY PROMOTE PEOPLE YOU LIKE AS WELL AS YOUR OWN BOOKS ON YOUR SITE?

YES. BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BLOG SITE FROM DR. JOE?

http://www.fatthenfitnow.com/.

11. ANY WORD ON YOUR NEW NOVEL?

YES. I’M HAPPY TO SAY THAT IT HAS GONE THROUGH ANOTHER EDIT AND MIGHT BE READY BY THE END OF THE YEAR. THERE WERE WAY TOO MANY CHARACTERS, TOO MANY PAGES AND QUITE FRANKLY IT WAS A MESS. WE’RE STILL LOOKING FOR A WORKING TITLE TOO. THIS WAS MUCH HARDER TO PRODUCE THAN THE FIRST EFFORT “A RADIO STORY”. BUT WE’RE ALMOST FINISHED AND IN THE SHAMELESS PROMOTION STYLE THAT IS OUR WONT, WE’LL LET YOU KNOW.

12. YOUR 590 FOREVER BLOG SITE, HOW OFTEN DO YOU UPDATE THAT? IT’S A GREAT TRIBUTE TO WARM RADIO.

THANKS. I TRY TO UPDATE IT TWICE A WEEK. MY GOAL IS TO COME UP WITH 590 MIGHTY MEMORIES. WE’RE STILL IN THE 500s. AS A WARM FAN, EVEN NOW WITH WARM IN ITS CURRENT STATE, WRITING 590 FOREVER IS A LABOR OF LOVE.

13. HOW WOULD YOU GET BIN LADEN OUT OF HIS CAVE?

HAVEN’T RECEIVED THIS QUESTION IN A WHILE. I’D GET ME A BRILLIANT AUDIO/TV/BROADCAST ENGINEER, SOMEBODY LIKE WYLN TV’S BOB ADAMS. I’D ARRANGE TO HAVE BIG ASS SPEAKERS SURROUNDING WHERE HE IS AND A HUGE SCREEN THAT HE CAN’T AVOID. THEN I’D BLARE THIS VIDEO 24/7.