Saturday, December 12, 2009

The LuLac Edition #1035, Dec. 12th, 2009



Had the opportunity this week to talk with a seasonal employee. This fellow works part time as a mall Santa and since it is the season, we thought we’d ask him a few questions.
Q: Why do you do this?

A: At first I did it to supplement my income. It was easy work and provided me an opportunity to scope out the chicks in the mall.
Q: How old were you when you started?
A: 25 just out of graduate school but now twenty years later I’m still doing this.
Q: Still scoping out the chicks?
A: Naw, I’m married now, have a 5 year old at home.
Q: So has that changed the way you interact with the kids?
A: Big time. It’s almost like with my little girl, Santa got a personality transplant and a reference data base of what little kids like nowadays.
Q: Are the kids more sophisticated than when you first started?
A: I wouldn’t say sophisticated but they are more savvy. I mean they can close the sale you know? But by and large they still believe in Santa. It’s interesting, the older kids will not ruin it for the younger ones. I get a lot of teenage girls wanting to see me.
Q: Why do you think that?
A: My theory is that things are moving so fast for teenagers these days that Christmas time is a window where they can still be silly, be a kid. And that’s why the teenage girls stop and see me. It’s like they realize all the pressures they are under and want to turn back the clock.
Q: You’re daughter is 5, what are you going to do in a few years with her?
A: Lock her up. (Laughing).
Q: Best part of the job?
A: The excitement in the eyes when you know they believe.
Q: Worst part?
A: The costume gets hot sometimes, the beard itches and Santa can’t scratch where he wants like say Al Bundy would.
Q: Do you do volunteer gigs?
A: No.
Q: Cash only Santa right?
A: Yeah but it’s not what you think. I can’t do volunteer stuff because it is heart wrenching. I can’t handle it. One year I did this thing for a local non profit and the present they got from Santa was it. The kids were excited but street wise. They took the gift but there wasn’t a lot of joy.
Q: Santa goes away on the 26th right? Things remain the same.
A: True. It was tough to realize that some kids, even if they… do I want to put this…..
Q: Even if they went from one agency to another?
A: Yeah, you knew they knew I was just a feel good sham. So I don’t do volunteer work because I can’t change the outcome.
Q: Would you ever do a volunteer job?
A: Only if I can back it up with real bucks. Santa giving them a toy only makes people feel good this time of year, we should give them more of a life.
Q: When it’s over, how do you decompress?
A: Hug my kid.
Q: Merry Christmas Santa.
A: You too. You’re not gonna try and sit on my lap are ‘ya?
Q: No.
A: Cool.
Q: Cool yule, right?
A: Get the **** outa here


At 4:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had trouble sleeping. Now after reading your crap interview, I'm bored silly. Good night.

At 5:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Count Crooks


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