Saturday, February 13, 2010

The LuLac Edition #1095, Feb. 13th, 2010



With Valentine’s Day tomorrow I talked to a clerk in a candy store.
Q: Bigger holiday. Christmas or Valentine’s Day?
A: Christmas we get more big purchases because of family. But in volume we do more on Valentine’s Day, then Mothers Day.
Q: Even more on Easter?
A: Easter is good too but our store does bigger margins on Valentine’s Day. The biggest sellers are the chocolate covered fruits.
Q: Any last minute shoppers?
A: Tons.
Q: Did your boyfriend get you chocolate?
A: No, I wanted cigarettes.
Q: Cigarettes?
A: Yeah, they are way more expensive than a box of candy.
Q: You guys serious?
A: Yeah.
Q: And you want him to buy you cigarettes? Would you refuse candy?
A: No but he’s pretty cheap.
Q: Dump him.
A: Ya got any available nephews or sons?
Q: They (the nephews) are all taken. No sons.
A: Can I sell you some candy?
Q: No I still have a lot left over from Halloween. Even have one of those big ass chocolate covered apples.
A: Better eat it before it gets buggy.
Q: I will. Favorite candy bar outside of this joint?
A: Hershey's Dark. Yours?
Q: Used to be Chunky but I love those Take 5’s.
A: So what are you going to get for the lady in your life?
Q: Her birthday is close to Valentine’s Day so the birthday flowers last until Valentine’s Day. Maybe I’ll take her out to eat, get her a Talbot’s gift card or maybe pay a car payment.
A: Wow, that’s a lot of cigarette packs!!!
Q: You mean he’s not even buying you a carton?
A: Hell no. I told you he was cheap.
Q: Okay, I guess it’s the thought that counts, not the gift. After all, when you’re in love every day should be Valentine’s Day.
A: That’s pretty corny but I guess you’re right. You know I think I’m going to ask him, no wait demand he take me to dinner. You made a lot of sense.
Q: Just a few suggestions, but don’t get me in the middle of this. (Walking away).
A: Yeah and Christmas was pretty ****ty too. I’m gonna have a talk with that cheap ****** ****** let me tell you that. You know you made a lot of sense, what’s your name? Hey, where you going? You move pretty fast with that cane when you want to!!!!


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