Wednesday, December 01, 2010

The LuLac Edition #1390, Dec. 1st, 2010




The funeral home was nearly empty. Not many people survive a 95 year old bachelor without any visible friends or family. There would be no religious service because no one knew Maxie Wine’s denominational status. Susan Pinski looked around the large ornate room and came to the realization that the pallbearers would outnumber the mourners. The small turnout justified dragging her daughter back to the old hometown. Her husband volunteered to do the eulogy few would hear. The flag draped casket was closed. There was a picture of the deceased with his protégé Mayor Gary Thrash next to a spray of flowers. Susan noticed an older woman in black accompanied by a city policeman. It turned out to be the widow of the late Mayor. The ceremonial farewell was short. For once in his life, her husband Josh was brief but eloquent. Sister Mary Alice Hart, IHM read from the Bible, the Koran, and the Constitution in a curious mix of church and state. The U.S. flag would be donated to a city school for display on special occasions. On the way out the door, a rookie reporter approached the city’s former first lady and asked about Maxie Wine and Mayor Thrash. The lady just smiled and said, “Maxie was a good friend to the city and my husband.” The reporter, bereft of history and curiosity, left. The Mayor’s widow looked at Susan Pinski and said, “Oh if they only knew the whole story!” as she carefully got into the car. Susan’s daughter, bored until this conversation, zeroed in on her mother, asking pointed questions. “What did she mean Mom? Why are we here? Does that man in the casket have anything to do with us? What’s the deal with stopping by that big youth center and kissing dad all over like a sex maniac? Who was that touchy feely nun? And why was she hugging dad so hard? And the guy in the box is he the reason you named me freaking Maxine??” Susan knew it was time for full disclosure. “Max, let me buy you a hot dog and answer all of your questions about the nun, the Mayor, the man in the coffin and how daddy and I came to be. “Hope you have some time and a scorecard” the tall blond woman said. “Sure, where am I going in this nowhere town; except to college next year. Fill me in,” said the curious Maxine Marion Pinski. The two ordered hot dogs from the small eatery as Susan began the tale.
The above was an excerpt from my new book, "Weather Or Knot" now on sale at Barnes and Noble in Wilkes Barre Township.

I'll also on on The Sue Henry Show Thiursday morning at 9:30AM.


At 8:05 AM, Anonymous Junction said...

Sounds like an interesting read. I will be by for the book signing for sure. See you than.

At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Joe said...

Hi Dave,
Caught you on Sue's show. Good luck with the book signing.


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