Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The LuLac Edition #2737, September 24th, 20114

Our "Write On Wednesday" logo.


Chris Kelly & Corbett have lost that lovin' feeling

The Times tribune's Chris Kelly penned this article for his column and we're putting it up for "Write On Wednesday." Kelly recounts his near encounter with Pennsylvania's incumbent Governor. As they say in the news biz, a brief, breezy read.
The Times-Tribune editorial board invited me to its Friday meeting with Gov. Tom Corbett, R-Drillers. His re-election campaign insisted I be uninvited. Why? Because a month ago, I almost went to work for Attorney General Kathleen G. Kane.
She is a Democrat and Mr. Corbett feels threatened by her.
Stunned by the snub, I went home and climbed into bed with a gallon of ice cream, an ’80s power ballads CD and a notebook. When my wife walked in, I told her “I Want to Know What Love Is.” She grabbed the Rocky Road and fled to her sister’s house.
I dimmed the lights and started scribbling...
Dear Tom,
The world is spinning and I’ll probably make a fool of myself, but there are some things I need to get off my chest.
Obviously, I’m upset about Friday.
After all we’ve meant to each other over almost four years that felt like forever, how can you shut me out? Do you have any idea how hard it was to know that we were in the same building and I couldn’t even say hello to you?
Forgive me for thinking the governor of a state of nearly 13 million people should be able to face one snotty newspaper columnist who is also a constituent and taxpayer. The second-floor conference room is a safe, controlled environment. The chairs are like upholstered clouds.
I only had one question, and it got asked despite my absence. You’ve said innumerable times that an extraction tax would chase drillers out of Pennsylvania, the “Saudi Arabia of Natural Gas.”
Do you really believe that?
You told the editorial board yes. If I had been there, I could have winked or pulled my ear as a signal that you were saying something no sane person could believe. Instead, I was at home catching up on “The Roosevelts” on PBS. Teddy Roosevelt walked softly and carried a big stick. You speak loudly and come off like a dipstick.
OK, that was mean, but the op-ed page hath no fury like a scribbler scorned.
About Kathleen: We were never more than friends. She asked me to go steady, and I said yes. That’s on me. But when I realized it would mean losing you, I changed my mind. Kathleen and I never went all the way, and we broke up weeks ago. She dumped a bucket of ice water over my head.
I don’t blame you for feeling vulnerable. You’re cratering in the polls and the thing most voters seem to like about your opponent is that he’s not you. Such are the perils of public life. As someone who has been on the public payroll his entire professional career, you really ought to have a thicker skin. Snubbing me just makes you look petty and paranoid.
But I’m not mad, Tom, and I’m not giving up on you. Playing hard to get just makes me more determined. I know what love is, and, like Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction,” I’m not gonna be ignored.
CHRIS KELLY, the Times-Tribune columnist, doesn’t handle rejection well.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Kathleen me!!!!


At 12:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good article. I think Kelly used the job with Kane to get some concessions with the Newspaper.
Some think she has her eye on the governors office and if Wolf gets in and does two terms she might just pull it off. She's young.

At 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would Corbett bother with the Times anyway? They dont endorse Republicans.

At 11:39 PM, Blogger David Yonki said...

Some think she has her eye on the governors office and if Wolf gets in and does two terms she might just pull it off. She's young.


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