Saturday, January 14, 2012

The LuLac Edition #1902, January 14th, 2012

Our "Interview" logo.

INTERVIEW

This weekend is going to be a big football weekend and by extension a big one for those who’d like to place a wager. I talked to a buddy who is in the business.
Q: Is this one of the biggest weekends of the year?
A: Yes. For me it’s the biggest, even bigger than the Super Bowl.
Q: Why is that?
A: Volume. 4 games. I only deal with a group of people who belong to my uh, club.
Q: How long have you been doing this?
A: 15 years. I inherited from my dad who got it from his dad.
Q: So how long has your family been taking illegal bets?
A: 75 years.
Q: Any arrests?
A: Nope.
Q: How do you pull that off?
A: We’re careful, we’re discreet and we’re not greedy. It makes for a good sideline business.
Q: So your family has had real jobs?
A: Yeah, what do you think we are scumbags?
Q: No. Can I place a bet?
A: You can because you know one of the referrals. But from what I was told, I’m not sure I’d take you.
Q: Oh you heard about 1979?
A: Yeah.
EDITOR’S NOTE: In 1979 my father and I decided to bet on football as if we were going to a bookie. But we never used any real money but kept a running tally on the games we picked. By mid November we were up $2300.00 but by the end of the regular play off season we were down $7800.00. After mid November, everything we touched turned to crap. It was a valuable lesson.
Q: Okay so you won’t take my money but let me ask you about money. How much cash do you have on hand for payouts?
A: Enough.
Q: C’mon.
A: No, people know you and I can just see you putting this on TV or on your computer thing.
Q: Okay, for a weekend like this, will you do better than a Super Bowl?
A: It depends. With Denver and Tebow, we’re running ahead in terms of volume betting.
Q: How about Tebow?
A: I respect him as a player but with him being in this playoff, it’s a real pain in the ass.
Q: Why?
A: Every call, every meet up, people want to talk about him. Ask my opinion. I like to move fast, get in and get out. If they want to talk about Tebow, call a talk show!
Q: Who are you picking?
A: I have no preferences. How ‘bout you?
Q: Denver with the points, (although I think New England is due to win a playoff game) Houston, San Francisco and the Giants with the points.
A: You’re picking against Green Bay?
Q: Yeah, I love ‘em but I got a gut feeling.
A: (Smiling) Care to place a bet on that?
Q: Sorry. Don’t gamble. Been to Mohegan Sun once for the buffet, a buddy dragged me, and when I used to go on those bus trips to Atlantic City, I’d take the quarters they gave me……hey where ya goin’?
A: Thanks for the coffee. Gotta run. Don’t have time for your stories. Game time is 4pm and my deadline is more important than yours!

6 Comments:

At 6:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do not try and make up quotes. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth: there is no quote. Then you'll see that it is not the People for whom Quotes are Made up that are being quoted; it is only yourself.

 
At 8:13 PM, Blogger PoorRichard said...

Huh?

 
At 8:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I were you I would delete this interview.

 
At 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Yonki, I found this interview very interesting, however,I find it kind of odd that you are aware of criminal behaviour and are not reporting it. Didn't you complain about many in the courthouse turning a blind eye?

 
At 12:46 PM, Blogger David Yonki said...

IN RESPONSE
Dear Mr. Yonki, I found this interview very interesting, however,I find it kind of odd that you are aware of criminal behaviour and are not reporting it.
SO I MEET A GUY IN A DONUT SHOP WHO OVERHEARS ME TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL. I ASK HIM A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS AND WE ENGAGE IN BANTER. THE GUY GETS IN HIS VAN WITH JERSEY PLATES AND GOES WHO KNOWS WHERE. HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO REPORT THAT? THE PURPOSE OF THE ANONYMOUS INTERVIEWS IS THIS: I ENGAGE PEOPLE IN CONVERSATIONS, ASK THEM QUESTIONS, TELL THEM WHAT I DO BUT ASSURE THEM IT IS ANONYMOUS. I DON'T ENDORSE CONDONE OR PROMOTE GAMBLING. I THOUGHT THE MOST INTERESTING PART OF THIS "INTERVIEW" WAS THE GUY SAID HE WAS FED UP TALKING ABOUT TIM TEBOW. THE "INTERVIEWS" ARE LIGHT FEATURES MEANT TO BE A SLICE OF LIFE. BUT WHEN I TALK TO A BOOKIE, I'M PROMOTING GAMBLING. WHEN I DO SERIOUS INTERVIEWS WITH DR. JOE LEONARDI ABOUT FITNESS, I'M A CRONY. WHEN I INTERVIEW A GUY WHO HAS IDEAS FOR COUNTY COUNCIL AND THE BUDGET, I HAVE A POLITICAL AGENDA. I CAN'T WIN WITH THIS FEATURE. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST START AND INTERVIEW MYSELF.
JESUS!!!!!
Didn't you complain about many in the courthouse turning a blind eye?
NEVER COMPLAINED ABOUT THAT DURING THE JUDICIAL CORRUPTION INVESTIGATION. YOU'RE MIXING ME UP WITH SALAVANTIS' MINIONS. I JUST COMPLAINED ABOUT SOME COURTHOUSE WORKERS MAILING IT IN.
AND BY THE WAY, I GOT TWO OUT FOUR CORRECT WITH THE FOOTBALL PICKS.

 

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