The LuLac Edition #1906, January 18th, 2012
Our "Write On Wednesday" logo.
Featured players Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Rick Santorum and Rick Perry.
Co-starring Joe Biden, B. Obama and J. Huntsman.
WRITE ON WEDNESDAY
’12 CAMPAIGN AND DR. STRANGELOVE
I don’t know how many thoughts of Mrs. Lulac find their way on to these pages. We have great conversations and are at that stage in our marriage where we not only finish each other’s sentences but are now thinking the same thing about a particular subject at the very same moment. But this article on “Write On Wednesday” is truly Mrs. LuLac’s own. She started to tell me about it on Saturday night as we drove home from church but I stopped her cold and recommended she contribute it to “Write On Wednesday”. At least that way she’ll get credit for something on this site. So here is her take on the GOP 2012 Presidential field and how it relates to a classic Cold War movie.
This Presidential Primary Season strikes me as being more picturesque than most. We have had two Mormons and two Catholics on the Republican side, which is a bit strange. The in-fighting and finger-pointing have been impressive. So, too, has one candidate’s extreme reluctance to release financial information that might show he isn’t so “shucks, I’m just a regular guy” as he would like us to believe. Yes, it’s been strange and I love it.
Strange. Love. Here’s a thought: These characters are right out of Central Casting. Suppose someone decided to re-make the 1964 satirical black comedy, Doctor Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. It wouldn’t take much imagination to assign candidates to the major roles. So, with apologies to Stanley Kubrick and Columbia Pictures, here’s my dream cast for the new version.
Mitt Romney as Merkin Muffley, the American President who appears calm in a sea of madness, but who is completely ineffective in solving the ultimate crisis.
Newt Gingrich as Dr. Strangelove, the wheelchair-bound nuclear scientist and former Nazi who is apparently not quite in control of his right hand or his anger.
Jon Huntsman as Captain Lionel Mandrake, a British exchange officer who discovers the plot to destroy the Soviet Union and annihilate the world, but is powerless to stop it.
Ron Paul as General Buck Turgidson, a slightly off center Patriot who cannot bring himself to trust the Russian Ambassador.
Michele Bachmann as Miss Scott, General Turgidson’s secretary and “special friend”.
Rick Perry as Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper, a rabidly paranoid Patriot who sets the End Game in motion to preserve our essential bodily fluids.
Rick Santorum as Major T. J. Kong, the B52 commander and pilot who famously rides his nuclear missile to the ground despite the best efforts of the President to persuade him that the order for self-destruction was bogus.
Rounding out the cast as the Pinko Commies are Joe Biden as Soviet Ambassador Alexei de Sadeski and Barack Obama as Soviet Premier Dmitri Kissoff.
It’ll be a blockbuster!
Disclaimer: Casting Mitt Romney as President is in no way meant to be taken as an endorsement of or prediction for his success.
Mrs. LuLac is a multi year professional in the NEPA Pennsylvania Library system. Mrs. LuLac by writing this article in no way promotes Communism or any derivative thereof. She has been a great help to me since I started this little project and has been the technical success behind any new innovation you see here. We are closing in on 3 decades of marriage and I'd be in the gutter without her.