Friday, December 21, 2012

The LuLac Edition #2303, December 21st, 2012

Our “Maybe I’m Amazed” logo. 


MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that it took a full week for the NRA (National Rifle Association) to come out and react to the shootings in Connecticut. The group took no questions and said they wanted to put a police person in every school room with a gun. Said they would start a program and then endorse it. But nowhere did they come up with a long range funding plan. Personally I think they should assess $5.00 off each membership if they are serious about this or just blowing smoke. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that the Corbett administration wants to take the two best funded, efficient programs in the state and sell them to the private sector. They want to sell off the Lottery and the Liquor stores for a one time profit. The key words here are “one time”. These are annual streams of revenue. To privatize them would be foolhardy. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……..that the people who scream that government is spending too much and is too big is shocked, shocked I tell you that cities and boroughs now have to raise taxes in order to survive. If there is no help from above the chain, it falls to the local taxpayer. who has to pay the freight. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that just in time for Christmas, the McDonald’s McRibb makes its return. There is a Slovak custom that you eat pork on New Year’s Day and wash your face with coins for prosperity and good luck. You just know that someone coming in from a bender is going to try and eat the coins and wash their face with a McRibb. Then again…maybe not. Stay safe on New Year's Day and stick with hot dogs. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………that there are now “Winter Finales” on network series TV dramas. Wow, I remember when TV shows had a 39 week run and then were replaced by summer shows. Many star’s careers were launched by summer replacement series, most notably Glenn Campbell and Sonny and Cher. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that Clearwater, Florida, the spring training home of the Philadelphia Phillies  has the highest rate of lightning strikes in the U.S. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………that if you had 1 billion dollars, and you spent one thousand dollars a day, it would Take you more than 2700 years to spend it all. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………that there seems to be a lot of duplication in food recipes. There is Nestle Crunch and Hershey Krackel as an example. There is a variety of colas but in terms of crackers, you will only see one brand of Goldfish. That’s because the founder of Pepperidge Farm not only bought recipe but the rights to the product. So you won’t be seeing any knock offs in the Dollar Stores. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…that the roadrunner chases its prey at 25 miles per hour.  
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that Mount Whitney which is the highest point in the continental United States and Zabriske Point, which is the lowest are less than eighty miles apart. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……….that during the last two weeks, in about 100 personal encounters with people in offices, on the street, on the phone and in meetings, about 97 out of those 100 have wished me a “Merry Christmas” and not a “Happy Holiday”.


At 10:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm Amazed...
No one asks (or dares answer)the questions:

What is the race of school shooter/mass-murderers?

What is the socioeconomic level of school shooter/mass-murderers?

What seems to be another common denominator of school shooter/mass-murderers??

What is the dress of choice of school shooter/mass-murderers??

What is the gender of school shooter/mass-murderers?

How long are we going to continue with this rectal-cranial-inversion-syndrome?

At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your T.V. show amazement is kind of stupid. In those days there were three television stations. Now with so many other options, things have changed... you are kind of stale in your thinking, are you sure you aren't a conservative?

At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe me and you arent one bit amazed that the world didnt end!
Were still here, right?
It didnt end but its rotting from the inside out...
Greed and its by product corruption are the killing disease.
But at least it didnt end last night, right?

At 5:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

race = white
socioeconomic level = upper middle
another common denominator = video games
dress of choice = camo/goth-black
gender = male 17-24
How long = no clue

Do I win?

At 4:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only thing I would add to 5:32 that I knew it was a White guy the moment I heard the first report. How did I know? Easy, if he were black or Latino, the news would have reported it as a "black man shot and killed....." There was no mention of black or Latino so it was obvious it was a white guy.

At 10:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For those of you REALLY interested in some thought provoking comment on the mass murder in Newtown: I challenge you to read through this. It is as sobering as it is enlightening.


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