Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The LuLac Edition #2299, December 18th, 2012

Oscar the Grouch. (Photo Muppetwiki.com). 


Dear Scranton and Hazleton, 
For years I have been one of your most ardent supporters. I have worked in your respective communities, dated some of your women, enjoyed the Fine Arts, got squeezed for not quickly filling your parking meters , feasted on your fine and unique restaurants and even marched in a parade or two. I know your both on the brink and headed for financial collapse if not ruin. I think it is time I spoke my mind with some aid for your financial problem. While I can’t solve the years of cronyism, favoritism, nepotism, bad decisions, lack of political courage, bone headed relationships, colossal lack of common sense and outright stupidity when it comes to running a government I can offer you this. A solution as well as a revenue enhancer. Retire Oscar the Grouch. Get rid of your garbage fees, stop emptying garbage cans. And in some cases, for Christ sake quit going up on people’s porches and escorting the garbage to the truck. It’s been over 40 years that “The Graduate’s” Benjamin Braddock was told that “plastics was the thing he needed to get into”. My beloved cities of Scranton and Hazleton, it is time to get into plastics as well. Adopt a bag fee for your town. The landlord will pay per bag as well as the little old lady who might put out a bag every two weeks. You can eliminate a department that has no idea who paid and make life easier. And less complicated. The city I reside in has many a flaw. (We’re still trying to locate the Controller we elected in ’11). We are facing tax hikes and union problems like you too. But at least we do something right. Observe.
The picture above  indicates the number of bags our next door college students (who have behaved marvelously this semester) have used. Note the number of bags. Roughly 8 bucks a piece per big bag.
Note the photo above  for the LuLac household. Since Mrs. LuLac’s mom passed away last year, we are now using one small bag instead of the bigger one. 

It is time for your cities to tell Oscar the Grouch to take a hike. Time to start using the bags. It will be added revenue for the city. A fair tax on users (I maintain people don’t mind paying taxes or fees as long as they are fair) as well as an idea that should be implemented right now. Try it…………you might like it. Or at the very least, make some money ff of it. As for the photos you see, when the students return home for Christmas break, the LuLac’s will continue to use our little bag. We’ll carry the load. Hell, it’s Christmas, we might even splurge and use two bags
Mr. and Mrs. LuLac  


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