The LuLac Edition #2296, December 15th, 2012

Our “Maybe I’m Amazed” logo. 
  

MAYBE I’M AMAZED 

MAYBE I’M AMAZED…..that the woman who let her baby daddy kill her infant daughter by crashing a cinder block into the child’s skull was wearing a cross around her neck when she was sentenced. Too late for that doomed baby that she found God all of a sudden. Tie the tubes, make sure she never gets the chance to pop another kid out again. Jesus would understand. Really, he would. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that my plans for a Christmas gift for a co worker were foiled. Since I have developed this neurological issue, one of the guys i work with has been bringing in my cooler from my car and filling it up with ice at the company cafeteria. I was going to buy him Jerry Butler’s early 70s CD “The Ice Man Cometh”. Are you ready for this? The CD is selling for over $150.00. Wow! 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………that the original Cinderella was Egyptian and had fur slippers. I did not see that in Walt Disney's biography. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……..that watching the County Council Meetings on Service Electric Channel 19 is both exhilarating and boring all at the same time. Scott Cannon does a great job but you have to be a real student of government. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that the City of Scranton does not use garbage bags like Wilkes Barre, Plains and Hanover Township as well as Kingston Borough. What is so hard about it? You have a lot of garbage, you pay by the bag. You don’t, you don’t. There is a reason why the city of Scranton is in trouble and it is because the government is so inefficient and ineffective for years that atrophy has set in. My dad used to say in the 70s that they should evacuate Scranton, blow it up and start all over. He was right. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED….that after one come from behind win last Sunday, backers of the Eagles, Ed Rendell included said that maybe the Birds were turning the corner. Then the Eagles plummeted down to earth Thursday night by losing again. The Guv says they should lose all the remaining games and go after the number 1 pick in the draft. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that in ancient Greece, throwing an apple to a woman was considered a marriage proposal. Same thing in Pittston in the 70s except you threw the tomato…..a tomato. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………..that Exeter Borough is finally realizing just how much money that big bad WalMart would have brought to tax revenues if they let them come into the mecca of tranquility. Jeez, people think there are snobs in “The Garden Village” but c’mon. You’re in debt because of voodoo economics. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……that when a business says they are losing money on an item or product, they are really saying “we’re not making as much money as we want!”
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that Goldie Hawn is 70. I repeat, 70. 
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……..that the Wilkes Barre Area has 5 Dollar Stores. I repeat, 5 dollar stores. If that doesn’t say anything about our economy here, than I don’t know what does! The stores are fine, I was just surprised at the number.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………….that last night on WILK the God awful program “Ground Zero” was even more ridiculous than ever. The host was talking about the killings in Connecticut, then morphed into how the police official’s name was Vance and that Vance was a prominent connected name in American politics, saying that Cyrus Vance (deceased) was somehow responsible for the conspiratorial actions of Sheriff Vance. Then they brought in the names of Henry Kissinger and Zbingnew Brzezinski, former Foreign policy officials in the Nixon/Ford and Carter administrations. At one point, they then morphed into how the media reported the shootings 6 hours before they happened just like reporters did on 911 when the media was reporting the planes hit tower two at the world trade center, even though they were still. Standing. It was then I grabbed the remote control from Mrs. LuLac and put on WARM. Stunning!