Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The LuLac Edition #1721, August 16th, 2011



“I'll work every day to make Washington, D.C., as inconsequential in your life as I can.” Rick Perry said that on the day of his announcement that he is running for President.
Think about that statement, government as “inconsequential”. We use government every day. It is so efficient at times that we take it for granted. Clean water, air, interstate travel. The Republican party has so poisoned the American people against government that Rick Perry doesn’t even get called on the fact that services provided by the government are consequential. Paul Kanjorski had it right a few years ago when he said that when the federal government cuts back, the cost is passed on to the state and local governments. But if you think a guy like Rick Perry is good for America, then just wean yourself off of these things provided by the government. And when it gets uncomfortable for you, call Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity. They’ll buck you up to be that self reliant great American just like they are, except of course for the gazillions in their bank account. Anyway, start cutting Americans:
1. Do not use Medicare.
2. Do not use Social Security
3. Do not become a member of the US military, who are paid with tax dollars.
4. Do not ask the National Guard to help you after a disaster.
5. Do not drive on any paved road, highway, and interstate or drive on any bridge.
6. Do not live in areas with clean air.
7. Do not drink clean water.
8. Do not visit National Parks.
9. Do not visit public museums, zoos, and monuments.
10. Do not eat or use FDA inspected food and medicines.
11. Do not use cures that were discovered by labs using federal dollars.
12. Do not fly on federally regulated airplanes.
13. Do not use any product that can trace its development back to NASA like
Invisible Braces, Scratch-resistant Lenses, Memory Foam,
Ear Thermometer, Shoe Insoles, Long-distance Telecommunications, Adjustable Smoke Detector, Safety Grooving, Cordless Tools and Water Filters just to name a few.
14. Do not watch the weather provided by the National Weather Service.
15. Do not listen to severe weather warnings from the National Weather Service.
16. Do not use the internet, which was developed by the military, not by my man Al Gore.
17. Do not ask for FEMA assistance when everything you own gets wiped out by disaster.
18.Do not ask the military to defend your life and home in the event of a foreign invasion.
19. Do not buy any product that is protected from poisons, toxins, etc…by the Consumer Protection Agency.
20. Do not save your money in a bank that is FDIC insured.
21. Do not ask for help from the FBI, S.W.A.T, the bomb squad, Homeland Security, State troopers, etc…
22. Do not visit the National Archives.
23. Do not visit Presidential Libraries.
24. Do not use airports that are secured by the federal government.
25. Do not let the Coast Guard save you from drowning when your boat capsizes at sea.
26. Do not hunt or camp on federal land.
27. Do not whine when someone copies your work and sells it as their own. Government enforces copyright laws.
28. Do not apply for a passport to travel outside of the United States.
29. Do not move to any other developed nation, because the taxes are much higher.
30. Do not use money printed by the US Treasury.
31. Do not complain when millions more illegal immigrants cross the border because there are no more border patrol agents.
Yes Rick Perry wants to make government for you and me “inconsequential”. He wants government out of your life, he wants government to stop telling you what to do. Unless of course a relative of yours gets knocked up by another relative and she is pregnant with a baby she will either hate, kill, ignore or abuse. But Rick Perry will tell you that’s pretty damn consequential. But don’t worry, you’ll be fine, he’ll say a big prayer for you on his National Day of Christian Prayer.
Source of countdown: Gort 42.


This past Sunday one of the writers in the Pittston Dispatch started waxing poetic about the Pittston Skyline of church steeples. He wrote about how loosey goosey it made him feel and that he knew he was home when he saw the beauty of those steeples. He mentioned just about every church in the William Street area except the one that was closed, stripped, bulldozed and turned into a fruit stand for the good people of Pittston. Funny how people only remember and celebrate what they want to. In that vein, let us never forget what the diocese did to the parishioners of St. John the Baptist Church and their dead spiritual ancestors. For them, their steeple is in ruins and not a thing of beauty anymore.


At 12:55 PM, Anonymous Pope George Ringo said...

Yonk, I think I know the Dispatch columnist to whom you refer. If it is the same guy I recall him extoling the virtues of a local coach/gym teacher a few years back. APparantly, they are friends. All I remember is that this teacher was so sadistic he made Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket look like a Quaker.
MInd you, we were 7th grade kids.
This columnist must be smoking something really good, or just be blind to the people around him.

At 2:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Again with the Church????? I'm going to the track tonight and find me a horse to bet on. A DEAD ONE!!!!!

At 7:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Said it before and I'll say it again, "Nothin' good ever came out of Texas except Willie Nelson!"
First this clown wants out of the Union (that was settled a long time ago) and now he wants to run it!

Waverly Bob

At 4:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are few things in life that are a constant and my buddy Yonk's love of his boyhood church is one of them. I don't care how many time St John the Baptist church is mentioned, that's what keeps memories alive.

At 8:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yonkstur....Old Memories die hard, especially when they we as good as we had it @ SJB. I for one, look forward to your Rants! As for Dubya II, it's probably the best thing that happened to Obama!


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