Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The LuLac Edition #2604, February 18th, 2014

Our “Maybe I’m Amazed” logo.


MAYBE I’M AMAZED……......that there are still people in this area who are gleeful about this snow. I’m guessing these are the people who have no children to get to school, no aged parents to care for, no homes to maintain and have never had trouble with their cars.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……..that those Olympic Ralph Lauren sweaters I trashed on 13 Questions last week were sold out by the Ralph Lauren Company at $595. They were available on Ebay for $3,000 and I’m sure people with more money than brains bought them. Nonetheless they are still ugly.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……..that the planet Saturn has a density lower than water. It would actually float if placed in water.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED………that there was such a big deal made about the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman. Sorry the dude died. He was a good actor. But he was a heroin junkie. He had three kids and a woman he never married. He was a selfish, irresponsible slob that pissed away a fortune, a career and a family. Sorry, no sympathy here.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that as I approach 60, I seem to remember more and more the words of wisdom my late relatives gave me. Wish I could thank them in person. Youth is indeed wasted on the you know who.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……….that the only thing sustaining me through this winter of death are two things, baseball and Super models. There will be a trio of models on the SI Swimsuit Issue set for release this week but in the meantime, this photo is on my desk top. By the way, I’m no Braves fan. 
And I was correct, Mrs. John Legend gets the cover, if not partially. From left to right Nina Agdal, Lily Aldridge and Chrissy Teigen. On the flip side, Kate Upton.
MAYBE I’M AMAZED……at how many people remember the comic genius of the late Sid Caesar. Caesar inspired two characters on TV and in a movie. He was the inspiration for Alan Brady on the Dick Van Dyke Show as well as the character King Kaiser on that great 1982 movie, “My Favorite Year”. Caesar is one of many influential celebrities who passed away in 2014. 

MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that for Black History Month, the only major push for touting the number of participants of color is of all institutions the WWE. Interesting marketing if you ask me. But the kicker is on the bottom of the photo on line here is this disclaimer: All WWE programming, talent names, images, likenesses, slogans, wrestling moves, trademarks, logos and copyrights are the exclusive property of WWE and its subsidiaries. All other trademarks, logos and copyrights are the property of their respective owners. No mention of slavery but ownership. Just saying. ……that the can opener was invented 48 years after the can. That must have made for some interesting maneuvers before meal time.  
MAYBE I’M AMAZED….that with this snow situation, many are calling for students to attend cyber classes from home. Nice idea but not all kids have access to computers at home and how the hell do you police the testing?  
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that thirty years ago, in Super Bowl 18, the MVP of the game, Marcus Allen of the Oakland Raiders drove his own car to the game. Allen was stopped by security and was not let in until he could get one of the Raiders front office people to verify his identity.  
MAYBE I’M AMAZED…….that the City of Wilkes Barre decided to get rid of the icicles on City Hall at……wait for it, 5PM today during traffic rush hour when workers were going home. Traffic was backed up all the way up Washington Street. Rather safe than sorry I guess because Thank God no one got hit by a brick when the Sterling was up.So I guess that was from the Sterling playbook.


At 8:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am AMAZED at how flat ass stupid drivers are in this area. Driving into work this morning, the first day pretty much free of dangerous weather, the jerks are at it as usual. Speeding and riding as close as they can get to the car in front!
Save a life, maybe even your own or your kids, thats right people with kids in the car, and leave more than a reasonable distance between you and the car in front. There are clear guidelines, but just common sense should prevail. And you will get where you are going just as fast and in one piece. Ask yourself one question, if he stops quickly can I? Nine times out of ten the answer is NO!

At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Professor Milburn Cleaver, OPA said...

Good morning students,
Mr. Yonki, you receive an A for your insightful and to the point paper on the late actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Although I extend my sympathy to his family, facts are facts. I will even admit to observing some of this man’s performances with great admiration. A banker friend of mine had informed me that Hoffman’s portrayal of Willie Loman in Death of a Salesman was on a par with Lee J. Cobb’s Broadway performance many years ago. And yet, he threw it away. I tend to lean towards the more iconic of our actors. Real men such as Humphrey Bogart, Sir Laurence Olivier and Montgomery Clift. These were thespians whose performances will be talked of many years after I and you ingrates have gone on to our rewards.
The work of this classroom moves forward…
Students, In view of Mr. Yonki’s paper, and although I rarely waste classroom time giving opinions on entertainment, I would like to provide some more background on the true actors of film history. Most of you probably have never heard of them, and this does not surprise me in your disposable world. I will attempt to enlighten at least a few of you.
1. Humphrey Bogart---Mr. Cool (long before the inept posers of today). Bogie began his career as a second banana in Warner Bros. gangster flicks such as “Ballots and Bullets” and “Brother Orchid”. It wasn’t until 1943 with “Casablanca” that he hit his iconic stride. Many successes followed where he portrayed a variety of roles from Detective Sam Spade in “The Maltese Falcon” and Philip Marlow in “The Big Sleep” to the riverboat captain in “The African Queen”. He succumbed to cancer in 1957.
2. John Garfield---Though now forgotten by even adult movie fans, Garfield was the ultimate tough guy. Born and raised on the tough streets of Brooklyn, he turned to acting thanks to an inspiring teacher. “The Postman Always Rings Twice”, “They Made Me a Criminal” and his final (some say best) film “He Ran All The Way” are one’s to check out. He died of heart failure at the young age of 39.
3. Montgomery Clift---Probably the first of the method school of acting. Clift made a name for himself by stealing scenes from Burt Lancaster in “From Here to Eternity”. He portrayed a victim of Nazi sterilization in a chilling 15 minute scene in Judgment at Nuremberg for which he won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination (back when judges knew the difference between a lead and supporting actor). He died of heart failure in 1966.
4. Kirk Douglas----What can I say? The films are endless. “Spartacus”, “Lonely Are the Brave”, “Detective Story”, “Ace in the Hole”; the list goes on and on. A truly talented (much more than his competent son) actor of diverse talent. Happily, still with us today at age 97.
So there is my list. Take from it what you will. I do apologize that it does not include such talents as Vince Vaughn, Kevin Spacey and Tom Hanks (you may laugh).
I ask you to check out the work of these four gentlemen. And forget the final three mentioned, for they will be forgotten by all in a few years.
Something to think about this morning…..
Class Dismissed!!!!!!

At 7:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm beyond amazed that anyone
in the media repeats anything that the Motor City Moron Ted Nugent has to say! This fool is so far over the hill that nobody can even remember anything he has done besides say stupid insulting things about the President of the United States. Didnt he promise to move if the Pres was reelected?
Why is he still around? Perhaps its time for another visit from
the Secret Service and an escort to the Mexican border!We dont need this stinking no talent idiot!

At 8:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that Snoop Dogg with the bat under her right arm?

At 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy Mackerel! (that dates me) I agree with the Professor. Anythings possible I guess, but after youve been around awhile like he and I both obviously have, you tend to be disgusted by the
people on the scene today especially in the entertainment field. On music
we are miles apart, but in total agreement on movies. There are no modern day Bogarts, Garfields or Clifts nor is there a Bette Davis or a beauty like Elizabeth Taylor. The great directors of the past still stand alone and TV has never matched the days of Playhouse 90 or for that matter the Twilight Zone.

At 8:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lonely are the Brave is a very heartbreaking movie at the end. I'll never forget (spoiler alert) the shooting of the horse and Kirk dying on the highway in the pouring rain.

At 5:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you "follow" what Nugent is saying or do you not agree with what he is saying.

Go Nuge!

At 9:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is blatant hypocrisy on both sides.

Cher and Bill Mayer Re: Sarah Palin.
Left is silent if not supportive.

Ted Nugent Re: Barrack Obama.
Right is silent if not supportive.

No one criticizes their own team.

Ahhh, but who do you think will be audited?


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